My supportive friend qualities

So this soberingly sad conversation actually happened the other day. I was sitting in a coctail bar on a Sunday afternoon in Camden, with little gay Asian friend #1 (female) and little gay Asian friend #2 (male).

Little gay Asian friend 1 (in a sad tone): After four years, I've finally broken things off with my girlfriend.

Little gay Asian friend 2: Poor you... you guys were at least talking, right?

Little gay Asian friend 1: Yes... but I've decided I need to move on, I think.

Me (sympathetic and helpful): That must have been hard.

Little gay Asian friend 1: It was... I was afraid at first.

*Faint beginnings of mischievous beat forming deep in the back of my head*

Little gay Asian friend 1: I thought I wouldn't be able to do without her by my side.

*Beat taking a distinctively fabulous shape now*

Little gay Asian friend 1: But I've spent so long thinking about it, and I don't think is right.

*Beat has gained words and thrust its way into the conscious part of my brain, where I am struggling to contain it, given the seriousness of the moment*

Little gay Asian friend 2: But you're strong...

*Please stop... It's no longer just a question of how inappropriate it is, it's also the fact that given my present company I should not be the one coming up with this, right? I now feel like Kevin Kline from In & Out... *

Little gay Asian friend 1: Yeah, I'll learn how to move along.

*That's it... here we go...*


Me: "And so you're back... from outer space... I just walked in to find you here..."

*Little gay Asian friends 1&2 looking slightly mortified. Erm... do I backpaddle, or roll with this?*

Me: "I should have changed the stupid lock, I should have made you leave the key..."

*Little gay Asian friends 1&2 slowly beginning to smile, then laugh, then join in*

Little gay Asian friends 1&2 and I: "No just go... walk out the door... just turn around now... cuz you're not welcome anymore..."

*People at surrounding tables at Camden's poshest cocktail bar now turning around to look at us*

Little gay Asian friends 1&2 and I: "I will survive..."


So... that went well, and she didn't seem too mad at me.

Of course, when I asked her opinion 30 seconds later on a hanging hammock style chair I'd spotted in the market, her response was "I think that's a great idea. You should go hang yourself". Maybe there is some lingering resentment.